How do you respond to Conflict?

It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important to us when a conflict arises. We tend to focus on reacting to the dispute rather than focusing on what it will take to resolve it.

Most often our reaction is defending ourselves, blaming others, criticizing, and perhaps even name calling to deflect tackling or correcting the actual problem. These reactions make the problem worse and are not constructive in the resolution.

If we are tired, worn down, stressed or worried about other things in our lives we may just not have the “energy” to effectively respond. Don’t be afraid to “sleep on it” or let the other person know, “I have a lot going on, let’s revisit this later”. But then Revisit It! The problem does not just go away because you push it down the road.

It is so important at these moments to reflect, take a step back, balance ourselves; consider not only your feelings and perspective but the feelings and perspective of the person on the opposite side. What opportunities exists to better understand each other, what possible positive outcomes exist for both parties?

Simplify the issue and attack it objectively.

· What’s the issue?

· What bothers you the most?

· Are you in a place emotionally or physically that you can at least listen and understand the other side?

· Can you simply and objectively voice your side to the other party?

· Is there a way to bring your emotion level down so that you can “hear” the other person?

· What negative feelings about the other position are you not willing to negotiate?

· Are you open to either working with the other side or willing to bring in a third party to help both sides navigate a resolution?