The 8 Rules

Let’s play fair!

Isn’t that what is expected of all of us? To play fair.

So what’s the definition of fair? Fair is to act in accordance with the rules or standards. Rules are established for many reasons. They keep order and maintain a balance that allows situations and establishments to run in a smoother setting. Just imagine if we had rules for arguing and really followed them.

A long time ago someone shared with me the 8 rules for arguing fairly. I think number 8 is the toughest one but also the most effective.

These rules can turn an argument or heated discussion into a conversation. I challenge you to apply these rules to your next confrontation.

1. Take a deep breath and remain calm

2. No past history

3. No name calling

4. Deal with the current issue

5. Express your emotions with words not actions

6. Don’t ever use threats as a means of solving a problem

7. Active Listening -Everyone needs to be heard. Most times people are thinking of their next comments when the other is talking. It is good to repeat back what the other person has expressed so they know they are heard and you understand what they are trying to convey.

8. Last but not least - Hold hands while arguing.

Again, I challenge you to use these rules when the situation arises. These rules have worked for many couples in therapy but certainly these rules can apply to other relationships too.

A definite must share for others!!!